Feb. 23rd, 2011

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it's all vague to me to be honest...there was a lot of snuggling, and planning of dinner. Our dinner at Ted's landlords was scuppered and we spent a lot of the day with Randy (Ted's brother) in the flat sorting out cooking for us....it all ended up with us going to Julia's (Ted's friend) for dinner which was cooked by Randy (yum yum). I played with a ferret....

Ted's friends are, I guess, accepting the fact, or assumpting, the fact that Ted is moving to London. Firstly, he has not even been here! Secondly....well, there is no secondly....Take that as you want.

But it was a lovely night with Julia for her birthday and everyone. The food was amazing.

Back home...we...um, nevermind....

Sunday woke with realising that I was leaving. I don't know about Ted, but I just wanted to cry all day. We watched Dead Set (yes, I did), he cooked for me. I tried to check in online and found out I had completely fucked up my booking and was scheduled to leave in March...Sorted....Thank you Ted for being the calm against my anxiety.

The trip to the airport was hell. I had already cried several times...and then 'Enjoy the Silence' by Depeche Mode came on the radio as we drove into the airport...I broke....Damn I broke so many times.

We ended up sorting out my ticket (thanks BA!) but...we had the soppiest, tearful goodbye...I just wanted to take him back with me! Forget the fucking bear he bought me...can I had take him? Got to the gate just in time.

I slept the entire flight (they had to wake me for landing)...and in a fog of sadness and exhaustion, I went to work, but left around 4..as I was useless.

Lots of decisions were made...big decisions...and I can't be more thankful that I made those decisions with Ted...

I deserve him. I have to remind myself that I do. It's been a long time since I have felt like this.

I hate being so far away from him...

There are times I just find myself crying...because he's not here...because he's so far away.
I have my Bear...(my Valentine's Day pressie) and Skype....and only 28 sleeps until he's here.


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December 2012

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